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Vol. 10, No. 3 |
January 2002 |
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| www.Innvestments.org |
HOME PAGE - NEWSLETTERS - LINKS TO OTHERS - MEMBERS PAGE |
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Your |
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Vol. 10, No. 3 |
January 2002 |
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| www.Innvestments.org |
The Christmas Party took on a different format this year. Instead of hiring a star performer to sing for us, as we have done in this past, we had Cindy and Chuck from Soundscape Entertainment provide both DJ and Karaoke services for us. That way we ended up being the performers ourselves by singing our favorite tunes with the background music and wording being provided.
For a while the evening went slowly. No one wanted to be the first to perform. But it turned out that our crowd was busy socializing with one another. I was told by several people that they enjoyed the extra time allowed to talk with each other since there was no performer to sit through. It is certainly true that we all have so many friends in the transgendered community that we want to say Hi to and never enough time to do it.
Eventually our crowd began to dance more and a few brave girls began to perform for us with their favorite songs. Again this party seemed to have it's own life. In the past our performers would finish their shows by 10:30 PM and the parties would wind down by 11:00 PM as people would proceed to other night clubs. But that would not happen this time. Our girls seemed to get more energy as the night went on. I even did a performance of "I Got You Babe" with Janet. We finally had to stop at about midnight.
Along the way we gave out awards for outstanding achievements by some our our members. The Presidents Award went to Denise Steale for all her hard work, the Jennifer Eaton Special Service Award went to Nancy Cain for recognition of her hard work over the years at IFGE for our community. Atta Girl awards went to Patty S. and Cally N. for their work. The door prize was graciously donated by Paetra Bramhall and consisted of a nights stay at her lovely Inn. It is called "Cabin in the Woods" and is located Bridgewater, Vermont (near Stow)(802-672-5141).
Check out our flyer for the Valentine's Party at the end of this Newsletter. We were able to get our friends from Soundscape Entertainment to return and are looking forward to a really fun time. Don't forget to dig out your favorite Red Dress for our contest.
Your Innvestment is a publication of Innvestments, P.O. Box 493, Monument Beach, MA.02553-0493. Innvestments is a non-sexual service organization founded to support and to provide a socially acceptable outlet for the crossdressing, transvestite, transsexual, transgendered community located primarily in Southeastern Massachusetts, Cape Cod and the Island. All rights reserved. Permission to reprint any article appearing in Your Innvestment is hereby granted to non-profit similar organizations provided that publication and authorship credit is given. Any commercial use of Your Innvestment material is hereby prohibited. Some material may have previously appeared in print. Publication and authorship rights of material reprinted from other sources remain with its originator. The editor/s of Your Innvestment are not under any obligation to accept information and advertisements. Information and advertisements may be published in any form deemed acceptable. Any information about services, products or sympathetic locations published in Your Innvestment is not considered an endorsement of such by the staff of Your Innvestment or the Board of Directors of Innvestments. Innvestments is also know in open publications as Cape Cod Cross Dressers.
Brenda L. (Brenda@innvestments.org).......(Acting)
President
Denise S. (denise@innvestments.org).........Vice President
Brenda L.(Brenda@innvestments.org)........Treasurer (508-759-2179
eve's)
Membership (including newsletter) is $30.00 per-year (pro-rated after January) with a $15.00 meeting fee. Meeting fees payable only for those attended. This pays meeting location fees charged to the group, and for pizza and soda or full/partial payment for food in the hotel dining room for all. New this year: By paying your annual dues of $30 and becoming a member you will be entitled to a $10 discount when you attend our major functions (Christmas and Valentines Parties). Also note that we have dropped the mail only dues because it just was not used very much.
The end of the year is traditionally a time for looking back over the past year and forward to the future. During 2001 I had the honor of being president of Innvestments.
First of all I'd like to make it clear that I like chickens. When I was a little girl my family raised lots of chickens. Some of my best friends were chickens. And I still like chicken. <g> Chickens are nice, but you can't herd chickens. You probably know that a man and a dog can easily control a flock of sheep. Well, it's easier for the man - he's along mainly to keep the dog company - it's the dog that does all the work. When a sheep strays too far the dog runs beyond it and chases it back into the herd. But if you and your friends want a laugh, just set a dog to herd a flock of chickens! The dog has no problem chasing the straying chicken (which is a lot of fun to watch all by itself) but the beauty is that when he does it he scares the other chickens! And when chickens are scared they run off in all directions. (I guess they don't have a herd instinct.) So the harder the dog works the more chickens he has to chase. Everyone gets a good laugh at the expense of the dog and the chickens.
See, I knew about these things having been raised on a farm and all, and I even had an uncle who was a shepherd. When I was asked whether I'd like to be president of Innvestments I thought my job was going to be to keep the dog company while the dog did all the work. I could do that, and foolishly I thought maybe I could even help guide the group. I had vision: do more outreach, interface with organizations that help transgendered youth, establish some ties to the GLB community. But once I was in office it started to look like the "herding chickens" joke I remembered from childhood, with me in the role of the dog. As a child this had seemed like a cruel joke to play on both the dog and the chickens and I refused to play along. It was clear to me that I had no real leadership role. On the surface it might have looked like the organization had a leader (me) but this girl knew better. And that's not good, it could stop a REAL leader from stepping forward. So I abdicated in my "lead, follow, or get out of the way" email which I sent to some of you before our scheduled elections in September. And I wish to personally thank those of you who have stepped in to fill the leadership void and keep our organization together.
But as Jane Wayne said, "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." This girl leads only herself, but she's going to do what little she can in her small way for our community. One thing she's going to do is attend the "Gayla Ball" in February to give the Transgendered at least token representation. Please be sure to think of me next time you have chicken! <g> As always, please write to me: NoelleRose@aol.com if you want to chat or would like somebody to have fun with.
The following is a true story.
As many of you may know I am a CPA and although I work a regular job I also do a certain amount of work on the side at home. Well, I received a call from Sam, one of my clients, who lives about 30 miles from me, on a Monday evening saying that he would be working in my area and would like to stop by to discuss something. I told him fine but to just call before he could come.
On Wednesday when I got home from work I was tired and decided that I would get dressed up and do some shopping at the mall to relax. After spending almost an hour doing my make up, picking out an outfit and getting dressed I was just about to go out the door when the telephone rang. It was Sam calling from his cell phone.
"Could I come by to discuss the business situation I told you about?", he asked.
"Well, I am in kind of a different 'mode' tonight Sam," I said. "As a matter of fact I am on my way to do some shopping. How far away are you?"
"I am sitting in your driveway." he said. OH NO, I thought. Now what should I do?
This had never happened to me before. In the 8-10 years I have been going out dressed I had really never ran into someone that I knew from my other life. My family, like Sam, all live about thirty miles from me and just never drop in unexpectedly. I had never even met anyone I knew in all the times I had been out to shopping, restaurants or anywhere.
Let's put this story on hold for a minute and think about what I should of, or could of, done. What would some of you have done in this situation? Here are a few choices to pick from. The rest of this article will continue later in the newsletter. Be sure to pick a choice before proceeding to the rest of the article in which I will tell you what I did. As is usually the case there is no wrong answer.
A. Immediately hang up the telephone, shut off all the lights and lock the doors!
B. Quickly rip off your clothes, clean the make up off your face, get your male clothes on and then let Sam in.
C. Say to heck with it and let Sam in anyway.
D. Calmly and firmly tell Sam that he came at a really bad time and you are sorry but you can not meet with him.
I have
a goal to be one with myself and finally achieve peace. I feel
like a caged lioness or Rip Van Winkle, who after forty-years
is just now set free, or awakening to a New World. For forty plus
years I have been caged by society and by my own fears and inhibitions.
I recently stepped out of the cage
that I have lived in all of my life and I am moving along a path
to a new life. Sometimes I step gingerly, carefully watching every
move. At other times I find that I rush ahead jumping in the unknown,
feet first. Then, there are those times that I am forced to retrace
my steps in order to regroup, gather my strength and courage,
and assess my situation before I move onward once again.
The path away from the cage is littered
with obstacles and surprises. There are also many different roles
that must be played in order to successfully move on down the
path. These roles are like guarded checkpoints, at which you must
perform before you are waived forward. Some of these checkpoints
and roles you must tackle on your own. Other checkpoints may be
passed with assistance from your sister, mother, friends, therapist,
significant other, or even sometimes a stranger, who may offer
a helping guiding hand. These supporters can make your travels
far smoother and easier than if you traveled alone.
Many animals that have been caged
for years and who are then set free are unsure of what to do.
This is also true for people who have been incarcerated for long
periods of time and then have trouble making a life for themselves
in society once they have served their time. So it is for some
of us. Some of us never leave our cages, afraid of the unknown
that lurks outside while others step out of the cage only to falter
and fail at the new roles and situations now faced. The rest of
us overcome the many and varied pitfalls and difficulties and
make a new life for ourselves.
Playing the roles required to move
ahead can be one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of
the journey. Imagine trying to compress a lifetime of roles and
role playing into a period of one to three years. That is what
is needed in order to make the transition successfully. All of
us are trained and socialized by people around us so that as we
grow up we learn the expected behavior in any one of a number
of life's situations. Yet if you do not accept the norm as your
way, you are ridiculed and left wondering, what is my way?
There is no road map that will guide
you down the highway there are only rough guides that give you
outlines of where to go. You are on your own to fill in the fine
details and make the best of your situation. Some of the paths
you take in life take you down a well worn trail while others,
you may need a machete to cut your way through. Although there
may be similarities to other travelers experiences, each journey
is separate and distinct.
My choice was "C. Say to heck with it and let Sam in anyway."
When Sam came in the door the first thing I did was to shake his hand, "Congratulations" I said, "you are the first one that has ever caught me like this and I have been going out for at least 8 years." Contrary to my initial fears he did not seem all that upset about me. He told me he had known another crossdresser in the past but that person did not go out of the house.
After the initial shock wore off something nice happened. We both kind of ignored the clothes I had on and sat down for about fifteen minutes to discuss the business proposal he had brought. We had an intelligent and informative discussion. He would later say that I gave him the same sound answers that I always did. That felt good. Before he left he asked if he could tell his wife, Jeanne, about me as I know her too. I said sure. Sam continues to be a client of mine.
My confidence and comfortableness regarding my crossdressing have grown over the years. I no longer feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. Oh there was a time when I most certainly would have chosen answer "A" above but not any longer. It has just come to be an accepted part of my personality and life. I am one of the lucky people that is allowed to show all facets of myself. I can work on my car in the morning and go out with a dress on at night. Isn't life grand!
Do not feel as though you have to do the same things that I did in this situation! As stated on the opening page of our web site "We encourage all our members to explore their gender gifts at their own pace. No one will push you beyond your desired limits." It is indeed up to each one of you to find your own path.
A special room rate for Innvestments of $49.00 is being offered for those individuals who desire to stay over at the Ramada Inn. When you make your reservation BE SURE to mention INNVESTMENTS in order to get this rate! At this special price it is felt that the rooms will go rapidly so please call today and make your reservations. Call the Ramada Inn at the following numbers: 508+775-1153; or toll free at 800:676-0000 or 888+CAPE-398.
The price for the event is $50 per person ($40 for Innvestments members).
Reserve your place NOW
at this great annual event. Just fill out the attached form.